A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we're so committed to being not committed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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