You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
