ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize