You work out of a Hotel?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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