They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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