the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
