how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
