we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So much rum. So many feels.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
