Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
