I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
