ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
