HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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