real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
