halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
