So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
