She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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