so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
