What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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