The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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