and she was petting her beer can
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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