they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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