Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
