we have pet lesbian snakes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have peed in a lot of sinks
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
