There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
