it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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