if i can run in heels then i can drive
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
