You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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