Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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