Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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