kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
