So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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