yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize