i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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