that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
