he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
