I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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