the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
