Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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