Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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