Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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