Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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