You're so nebulous sometimes
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Randomize
