Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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