Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't think brook has ever known best
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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