Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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