careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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