i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
