I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
