Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
