I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
