YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
