i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize