Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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