dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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