she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
