She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
