You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've blown a few things in my day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
