He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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