god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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