Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
