uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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