Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
