You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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