another moral hangover. fuck.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
