saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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