Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I faked an abortion last night.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
