WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
