Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
