Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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