Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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