gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize