I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
