big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
