He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
should my penis look like a turkey
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
