someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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